I thought I was broken until I learned this:

Instagram makes it look simple: just do a little breathwork, drink some herbal tea, and everything will feel better.

And don’t get me wrong. Those tools are beautiful. They can absolutely help.

But what I’ve learned, from personal experience during my healing journey, is that those “hacks” only work the way they’re supposed to when the basics of your life are supported.

If your environment feels unsafe, if you’re disconnected from yourself and your community, if your foundation is unstable, no amount of box breathing or tea is going to fix the problem.

Today, I want to talk about the difference between Instagram wellness and real nervous system support. Where breathwork, tea, and grounding techniques actually fit in—and what your body might be asking for instead.

Because you’re not broken if the “hacks” aren’t working. You’re just being called to go deeper.

Instagram Wellness vs Real Wellness

The main difference between Instagram wellness and real wellness is simple:

Instagram wellness promises you a shortcut. It says one hack, one habit, one herbal tea will fix everything.

Real wellness acknowledges complexity. It says true healing and well-being come from tending to many areas of your life, not just mastering a breathing technique.

It’s important to acknowledge that Instagram isn’t really built for nuance. A short caption and a quick video aren’t enough to cover the full realities of healing. And many people out there are genuinely trying their best to share helpful tools.

But the danger comes when we start believing that wellness can be boiled down to one viral trick.

When someone says, “this one thing will change your life,” it’s incredibly tempting to believe them.

When you’re overwhelmed, struggling, and exhausted, the idea that one thing could finally help feels like a lifeline.

It’s not weakness to hope for that. It’s human.

But real wellness asks for more. It asks for a whole-life approach—not just a new tool, but a new relationship with yourself and your needs.

Want to go deeper into why one tool isn’t enough? I talk more about that [here].

Why Nervous System “Hacks” Couldn’t Reach the Root of My Anxiety

When I was still struggling with foundational safety, nervous system hacks didn’t even scratch the surface.

Box breathing was a beautiful practice, but it didn’t solve the deeper issues in my life. Breathwork gave me a little space to keep going, but it didn’t erase the anxiety that woke me up at night.

Positive affirmations were comforting, but they didn’t magically create financial security, community, or connection.

It wasn’t that I didn’t try. I did the box breathing. I did the grounding exercises. But my body wasn’t fooled.

Inside, it still felt like I was standing on unstable ground. My chest stayed tight. My jaw clenched in my sleep. Even after using a technique, the tension was always just waiting under the surface.

And if I’m being honest, it made me feel a little crazy. “This is supposed to help. Why isn’t it working for me?” Which only added to the stress my body was carrying.

What I didn’t realize back then is that my body wasn’t malfunctioning. It was doing exactly what it was supposed to do.

It was trying to tell me: Something isn’t right.

Tiny Tools Can Offer Temporary Relief (And That Matters)

I want to be clear: those little nervous system tools aren’t useless. They’re just not the whole answer.

When I was still in survival mode, small practices helped me create moments of relief. They didn’t fix the foundations. But they gave me space. And sometimes, a little space is enough to help you keep going.

Sometimes a meditation helped me get through a rough morning. Sometimes box breathing gave me a tiny crack of space between me and my spiraling thoughts.

Those moments mattered. They kept me afloat long enough to keep doing the bigger, slower work.
I shared more about the habits that helped me slowly rebuild [in this post].

But they were never the final solution—and once I understood that, I could stop blaming myself when the tools weren't "fixing" everything.

The key is knowing that box breathing or mirror affirmations aren’t supposed to solve everything.

They are lifelines, not solutions. You still have to do the deeper work of healing, facing things head-on, and rebuilding safety in your life.

Why Nervous System Tools Work Better Once Your Foundations Are Supported

There’s a metaphor I like to think about:

Imagine your nervous system is a balloon. When your basic needs aren’t met—when you don’t feel safe, connected, nourished—that balloon is stretched to the absolute limit. Every tiny thing feels like it might pop it.

When you try a nervous system “hack” at that point, it’s like letting out a tiny puff of air. It might relieve a little pressure for a minute. But the balloon is still dangerously overfilled.

Now, imagine that your basics are covered. You have financial stability, emotional safety, and supportive people around you. Your balloon isn’t stretched to the brink anymore.

Now, when you use a nervous system tool, it actually lands. It helps you recalibrate. It creates real shifts. Because you’re not battling the full weight of survival mode anymore.

How My Tools Work Differently Now

These days, I still use breathwork, herbal infusions, stretching, journaling, and meditation. But they don’t feel like emergency life rafts anymore.

They feel like gentle recalibrations. Like tending to a garden, not fighting a wildfire.

And one of the biggest shifts? I stay flexible. I don’t cling to one tool and expect it to fix everything. I adapt based on what I need in the moment.

Some days, it’s music and movement. Some days, it’s a walk outside in the wind. Some days, it’s a slow stretch on the floor and a cup of nettle and oatstraw infusion.

But the key difference is that now the basics are in place. The balloon isn’t overstretched anymore. And that gives everything room to work.

What I’d Tell You If You’re Struggling

If you’ve tried breathwork, tea, or meditation and you still feel awful, you are not broken. You are not failing.

Your body is trying to tell you something important: There’s a deeper layer that needs your care.

This is not about “fixing” yourself. It’s about listening.

When the basics of safety, community, nourishment, and stability are out of alignment, no trick will override that. It’s not supposed to. It’s your body’s way of saying: Please tend to me. Please rebuild the foundation.

What To Focus On First (Before Nervous System "Optimization")

Before you try to optimize your nervous system or stack healing habits, check in with the basics of your daily life:

• Are you safe in your environment? Are your basic needs met—food, shelter, financial stability—or are you constantly under stress just surviving?

• Are you connected to anyone? Do you have even one or two people you can be real with? Even online connections count if they’re honest and supportive.

• Are you nourishing your body? Are you eating enough? Getting real foods with protein, fiber, minerals? Are you nourishing, not just fueling, your body?

• Are you getting rest? Are you sleeping? but are you also allowing rest that isn’t "productive"? Time where you’re not achieving or consuming?

• Are you living in alignment with your needs? As best you can?

• Meaning: Do you feel connected to anything bigger than your to-do list—nature, art, spirituality, small joys?

If the basics aren’t in place, start there. That’s what your nervous system is asking for.

You don’t need a fancier breathwork practice. You need a life that feels safer to live in.
If you’re not sure how to start slowing down, I shared some small rituals [here].

Small Practices That Can Still Help (Without Pressure)

Even when the basics are rocky, small grounding practices can still offer moments of relief:

• Present-moment reconnection: Look around and name five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste.

• Feeling your body: Feel your feet on the floor. Feel the texture of what you’re holding. Feel the rise and fall of your breath.

• Connecting with your environment: Sit outside. Notice the wind. Notice the way the trees move.

You’re not trying to “fix” yourself. You’re just reminding your body: Right now, we are safe. Right now, we are okay.

The Deeper Kind of Wellness I Believe In

Wellness isn’t about mastering a perfect morning routine.

It’s not about finding the right supplement stack. It’s not about perfecting your nervous system like a machine.

It’s about building a life that feels supportive from the ground up.

It’s about cultivating safety, and tending to connection. Making space for nourishment. Choosing presence over perfection.

Breathwork, herbal tea, meditation, and all are beautiful tools.
But they are most powerful when they’re layered onto a foundation of real care.
Not used to patch over a life that’s hurting.

Final Thoughts: Real Wellness Is a Relationship, Not a Hack

If there’s one thing I want you to remember from this post, it’s this: You are not broken if the hacks didn’t heal you.

You’re just being asked to go deeper. To look at the whole of your life. To build the kind of safety and nourishment that breathwork alone could never create.

And when you do? Those tools become so much more powerful. Because they’re not battling survival anymore. They’re supporting growth.

And if it feels like real wellness is a lot more complicated than a single hack... that’s because it is.

But that’s not a bad thing. Real healing is richer. Slower. More sustainable. It asks for patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to keep tending to the basics, even when it’s not glamorous.

You are not broken because hacks didn’t fix you. You are human. And you deserve support that honors the whole of you—not just the symptoms.

📖 Want a cozy way to start reconnecting with yourself?

I created [my Tea & Herb Recipe Cards] to offer simple, beginner-friendly blends for nervous system support, stress relief, and digestion.

Each cup is a small act of nervous system support, and a reminder that you’re worth nourishing, gently and well.